Let's try this again..

I have tried starting a blog for a long time now. I felt I needed an outlet for all the pent up anger and sadness in my life. My husband and I have been given a pretty crappy hand of cards. I will go in to our story shortly.

My name is Tammi, I am a LVN, or "Nurse Lady" as I have been called many times, Have been for about 3 years. Currently unemployed, but have just recieved an offer for home health care. My husband Jon works as an Automotive Tech, and likes his work. We were married August 24th 2012 on the beautiful South Padre Island.

 

I honestly married my bestfriend in the whole world. I don't know where I would be without him, he has given me courage I didn't know I had. He has held me close and wrapped me in comfort when the nights get too long, he makes me laugh and start to enjoy life again.

 We are the angel parents to our son Wyatt. Wyatt was born March 16th 2012 at 1:35 pm via c-section, as all mommies would say, it was love at first sight. Well..Here is where life gave us our bad hand, at 2 days before our son would have turned 2 months old he passed away during his afternoon nap. I was just leaving work and he was home with his daddy. I opened our front door to my husband doing cpr on our son with 911 on speaker phone. He was pronouced at 3:50 pm May 14th 2012, ripped from our arms by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It was a very dark time in our lives, we decided to go through with our wedding as we had planned it, but let me tell you, it was bittersweet in so many ways.

 

In honor of our son we started an organization called Soles For SIDS, we do little fundraising throughout the year with a 5k run/walk in the spring. 100% of our proceeds are donated to Dr. Hannah Kinney at Bostons Childrens Hospital where she studies SIDS and is trying to find a cause. I promised my son as I kissed his face for the last time that his death would not be in vain, that I would do whatever I could to help others in his name. I have to provide his legacy now, I am his voice.  SIDS wasn't new to me, not only being as a nurse but my one of my bestfriends lost her daughter to this thief in the night a year before we lost our son. New parents tend to live in this little bubble where we believe "It won't happen to me.." But it can, and for 6 parents a day in the US, it does.

 

So this leads me to where I am today, a bereaved parent, a new wife, nurse trying to get by. I already know there will be sad blogs, angry blogs, the "shit my husband says" blogs, and part of my new journey, the Trying To Concieve (TTC) blogs. My husband isn't sure where he stands on us having another baby, but has decided we will just let nature take its course. I will begin in the next couple weeks to take ovulation tests, eating better, taking my prenatal vitamins, and stop my horrible habit of smoking. So..Yes..there will be angry blogs! I hope I can keep up with writing on this more than I did the last time I tried.